Hipkins Pushes Back On Enforcing COVID Mandates, Claims He Was 'Not Even There' During The Entire Pandemic
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WELLINGTON, NZ — Labour leader Chris Hipkins has confirmed he had absolutely nothing to do with those iron-fisted COVID mandates.
Speaking at a press conference, Hipkins insisted he was “not even there” when the country was locked down, masked up, and jabbed into oblivion.
“I know you all think I was in the thick of it,” Hipkins said, “but I’m telling you, during the whole pandemic, I was off the grid. I wasn’t even in Wellington.”
Locals, however, have hazy memories of a certain ginger-haired politician on their TV screens, preaching about “get jabbed or you lose your job” and “the unvaccinated are evil.”
People are calling this the boldest case of pandemic amnesia. “Mate, we all saw you on the 1 p.m. briefings with that evil witch. You were practically the poster boy of COVID!”
At publishing time, Hipkins also claimed that he was not around when Labour destroyed the country into oblivion.