With New Military Fitness Standards Announced, Pete Hegseth Fires All Soldiers Over 14% Body Fat
U.S. — Secretary of War Pete Hegseth unleashed on all fat soldiers, after announcing new military fitness standard, claiming that ‘fat troops’ are holding America back from fighting new wars.
As Trump prepares to send troops to Gaza, Pete Hegseth said that the new fitness standards will increase their chances of winning the war against Hamas.
“If you can’t fit through the top hatch of a tank, how do you expect to destroy your enemy? They might end your life while you’re stuck half-way through the tank’s hatch,” said Secretary Hegseth.
The fitness standards also include soldiers to eat meat 3-times-a-day, inject testosterone, must be able to beat-up ANTIFA members, and must have the Y chromosome.
At publishing time, Pete Hegseth has also fired all soldiers over 14% of body fat.
Not the Chimp
