Wellington Mayor-Hopeful Vows To Rebuild The Berlin Wall
WELLINGTON, NZ — At the announcement appearance for his Wellington mayoralty bid in the upcoming elections, Andrew Little made waves for promising to rebuild the Berlin Wall.
Little said he’s standing for mayor because Wellington needed “urgent change”, and the only way to do it was to “build a wall” to keep “radical lunatics from taking over the city.”
Little said his campaign will prove why the wall is the best solution for Wellington. "We all opposed to many aspects of the Berlin Wall, but, you know, many other aspects of it made a lot of sense" Little said. “We will obviously not have barbed wires, machine guns and the Stasi. It’ll be something more palatable.”
Leaning over a sample of “the wall” built overnight outside the Beehive, Little said Wellington needed all the usual priorities implemented by successful mayors like Wayne Brown, but Wellington was different. Little explained that Wellington has been captured by the “radical-left”, and building the wall was the only way to keep it a “centre-left” territory, and protect it from swinging to the “woke right.”
At the announcement, the crowd cheered and punched the air screaming “build the wall.” This comes at a time when centrists (on both sides) are fighting to hold control of politics, power, and media, as radicals on each side of the political spectrum gain momentum.
As of publishing time, Little said that the wall will also protect and grow Wellington’s economy, “the construction of the wall will add 200,000 shovel-ready jobs and protect us from Trump’s tariffs.”