Vatican Reveals Pope's Cause Of Death As 'Kissing Too Many Feet'

VATICAN CITY — Vatican officials confirmed today that the Pope’s death was caused by kissing too many feet during Easter sunday service.

“His Holiness was warned about the risks of excessive foot-kissing, but he insisted on doing it. The sheer volume of kissing way too many feet overwhelmed his immune system.”

The foot-washing tradition, meant to symbolize humility and service, has long been a cornerstone of papal duties. However, insiders reveal the Pope took it to new extremes, often spending hours the feet of prisoners.

At publishing time, the Vatican records show, the last feet he kissed was of U.S Vice President J.D. Vance.