Ungrateful Trust-Funded Child Drops Out Of Rehab And Returns Home To Ask For More Money From Mummy And Daddy Because Its Their Fault

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Volodymyr Zelensky, the perpetual trust-fund child of America, has once again stormed back into the Oval Office after dropping out of his latest stint in geopolitical rehab. Sources say Zelensky arrived unannounced ready to throw a tantrum at Mummy (JD Vance) and Daddy (Trump).

The ungrateful child wasted no time launching into a public spat, blaming the parents for his messy reality demanding yet another billion-dollar allowance.