UK Government Arrests Children For Having Sex With Muslim Grooming Gangs

LONDON, UK — The UK government has decided to address the epidemic of child sexual exploitation by arresting the victims themselves. The children are now being taken into custody for having sex with Muslim grooming gangs.

This initiative aims to reduce the number of reported cases thereby stopping the crimes from happening.

“These young girls are out of control and must face the law,” said Safeguarding Minister Jess Philips. “These are not gangs. They are minority group that need protecting against young girls.”

This has sparked intense debate on X. Elon Musk called Jess a “rape genocide apologist.”

Bill Ackman wasn’t having it either. "This is what happens when fear of political incorrectness trumps justice. We're not safeguarding children; we're safeguarding criminals."

At publishing time, Health Secretary Wes Streeting confirmed his government is just taking the piss, “this is just satire, don’t worry, go back to enjoying your holiday.”