Trump Welcomes Osama Bin Laden At White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump today welcomed the new leader of the Middle East, Osama bin Laden, at the White House.

“He is the best leader in the entire region,” said President Trump. “He has a terrible past—as all of us do—but we will not hold that against him. We are excited to be partners and allies, and look forward to a prosperous Middle East.”

Bin Laden, who is on an official state visit, will be attending a private dinner party with survivors of 9/11 and will later make a public apology on Fox News.

“Osama will also be investing $500 billion in construction projects, building twin towers all around the country except for New York, since we have a terrorist as mayor.”

At the time of publishing, Trump had welcomed Stalin and Hitler for a joint state visit and private dinner party.