Trump To Serve 4-Year Sentence In The Oval Office At The White House

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MANHATTAN, NY — With Trump headed back to the White House, his lawyers asked Judge Merchan to throw out Trump's Hush Money Trial. However, Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg suggested that Trump serve a 4-year sentence confined in the Oval Office, watched by police guards.

Judge Marchand announced his verdict this morning, ordering President-Elect Trump to serve a 4-year sentence in the Oval Prison in Washington D.C.

"Trump will begin serving his sentence on January 20, 2025,' announced Judge Merchan. "Trump must serve his sentence at the Oval Prison. In addition to confinement, he is required to perform 35,064 hours of community service by making America great again. This involves signing executive orders, passing bills, and executing on the mandate given by the American voters."

Trump lawyer Alina Habba stated that Trump will be allowed to have visitors in the oval prison, as well as access to nuclear codes. "Four years for some hush money?!"

At publishing time, Trump is expected to pardon himself on day one of taking office.