Trump Signs Every Single Artillery Shell Allocated For Iran If They Don't Stop Developing Nuclear Bombs

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump signed an executive order today mandating that every artillery shell designated for potential strikes on Iran be autographed by him personally.

“Iran’s leaders need to know who’s sending these messages—beautiful, explosive messages,” Trump declared from the Oval Office. “Nobody signs better than me, folks. These shells are going to be collector’s items—worth millions someday, believe me. But Iran better stop with the nukes, or they’ll get a very personal delivery.”