Trump Picks Kristi Noem As 'Secretary Of Homeland Security' To Put Down Dangerous Illegal Immigrants

SPONSORED BY TECHNO MAGA

MAR-A-LAGO — President-Elect Trump has announced his choice for Secretary of Homeland Security to deal with threats such as hurricanes, assassinations, terrorists attacks, and the most pressing, illegal immigrants.

"Illegal immigrants are raping and murdering our children and women, and we need someone tough to put down anyone before they cause any harm, until we can deport everyone. That's why I'm proud to NOMINATE KRISTI NOEM," said Trump. "SHE WILL PUT THEM DOWN LIKE A DOG."

Known for putting down her dog for simply not following instructions, Kristi is excited to get to work. "There will be zero tolerance for any form of security threats on our homeland. And if you're still here, I have a message for you, run or be put down."

At publishing time, Kristi Noem is also tasked to put down Kamala behind the White House shed, incase she tries anything stupid before January 20th, like declaring Martial Law.