U.S. — President Donald Trump announced that he had ordered the U.S. military to bomb a ship smuggling adulterated honey into the country.
Trump said in an announcement from the White House that the seizure of the adulterated honey supply would make Americans healthier.
“The Chinese keep destroying our great country and economy. HoneyGate is real. Billions and billions of dollar taken away from our country by the Chinese with their fake honey,” said Trump. “I warn all Americans, do not consume honey that is not from New Zealand. Only consume honey from New Zealand. We are far away from making good honey here in America, so for the meanwhile, please only consume honey made in New Zealand. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
Critics said Trump bombing honey ships will cause a breakfast crisis. “Can you imagine a honey shortage, and eating pancakes with no honey?” said Chris Christie.
At publishing time, Trump just announced 100% tariffs on fake wasabi.