Top 10 Exciting Council Election Promises That Will Beg You To Ask For A Rates Hike
New Zealand’s local councils are dropping 2025 election promises so dazzling, you’ll be begging to empty your bank account for higher rates. Here’s the Chimp Chronicles wild expose of the top 10 council pledges that’ll ignite your ratepaying passion;
Increase rainbow pedestrian crossings (Auckland): Yes, take my money!
Official “Hate the Jews” Day (Wellington): Love it! Are you looking for sponsors?
Steal local businesses for revenue boost (New Plymouth): Yes please!
Rainbow flag makeover (Wellington): Every building, road, and stray cat will be painted in rainbow colors
Chase Jews out of town (Christchurch): First, we stopped doing business with them, next, we will make sure every Jew is chased out of town!
100-year consent process for a new deck: Want to renovate your house? Councils will streamline the process to a mere century of paperwork
Double down on climate scam: Forget solar—councils will invest billions in unicorn-powered energy grids
More suffering: Councils will launch bold initiatives to drive away businesses, tank tourism, and ensure every resident feels the pinch
Use your phone when driving (Auckland): Wayne Brown is a JAFA and you love it!
Next CEO will be trans (Hamilton): About time!
There you have it. Enjoy the upcoming election campaigns, and get excited to pay more in rates!