'The View' Announces Closure After Entire Audience Flees America Before Inauguration Day
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U.S. — Daytime talk show "The View" has been cancelled after every single member of its audience has reportedly fled the United States, unable to cope with the reality of Donald Trump's presidency.
"It's just too much," said one former viewer, now residing in Puerto Rico. "Every time I think about having to watch another Trump dance on the street, I get anxiety attacks."
Producers were initially baffled by the sudden drop in ratings. "We thought it was a technical glitch," admitted executive producer, Bill Geddie, "but then we realized all our viewers had fled." The show's hosts were last seen debating whether they should follow Ellen Degeneres, fleeing to the UK.
Local immigration offices across the globe have been inundated with applications for citizenship from Americans, all citing political fatigue as their primary reason for exodus.
The hosts of "The View" have not taken the news well, with Joy Behar reportedly considering starting a podcast from a remote island where she can still scream into the void but now with better scenery. Meanwhile, Whoopi Goldberg is on her way to South America on an ayahuasca retreat to detox from Trump Derangement Syndrome.
At publishing time, the last known viewer of "The View" was seen boarding a homemade raft, bound for the Bermuda Triangle, after purchasing a whole lot of Dogecoin.