The Spinoff Uncovers The Real Identity Of Matua Kahurangi As David Seymour Taking The Piss
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NZ — The Spinoff has finally unmasked the real person behind Matua Kahurangi. After weeks of investigations led by Spinoff lead investigator Liam Ratana, trying to find the man behind the viral posts critiquing Maori.
According to Ratana, a Maori, who also works as a delivery driver at KFC, was on his way to deliver a bucket of KFC chicken wings when he realised something was off.
“I looked at the order as I was arriving at the delivery address, and it read ‘delivery for Matua Kahurangi’ and I thought, what is going on here?. Matua obviously loves shoving his Maori face with KFC, so I thought I could be onto something here.”
When he arrived, he couldn’t believe his luck. “The door opens, its David Seymour!!! Literally holding his phone, typing another Matua Kahurangi article.”
“DAVID?!!!” shouted Ratana. “MOTHERFUCKER!!!! YOU GOT ME” responded David Seymour, raising both of his hands as if he was busted by the cops.
At publishing time, David invited Ratana inside his home, where they both enjoyed digging into the bucket of KFC chicken wings. “What the hell were you thinking?!” asked Ratana while taking a bite of a delicious chicken wing. “I was just taking the piss so more people start talking about this damn treaty bill,” responded Matua Kahurangi.