The Spinoff Announce Closure After Cold Summer Temperatures Fail To Generate Climate Change Donation

NZ — The Spinoff has announced its closure. Summer temperatures in Aotearoa have failed to reach the apocalyptic highs promised by Spinoff’s climate change editorials. "We were already struggling and hoped for a scorching summer so we can raise a few millions," said Spinoff editor Madeleine Chapman. "But the weather gods decided to tell the truth. That climate change is a hoax."

The Spinoff, known for its propaganda-esque articles on everything from cow milk being bad for you, to avocado toast helps you live forever, found itself in a bind. Their readership, accustomed to the thrill of impending climate doom, simply lost interest when the mercury didn't soar past the 'we're all going to die' threshold.

In an attempt to pivot, The Spinoff tried to purchase InfoWars from Alex Jones but were outbid by The Onion.

The closure has left a void in New Zealand's media landscape, with many wondering where they will now get their daily dose of climate change propaganda so they feel good climate composting.

At publishing time, the staff of The Spinoff were seen distributing their remaining stock of branded tote bags, filled with ice packs, as a final act of goodwill to their readers.