Tesla Unveils New Shock System That Zaps Liberals Keying Teslas

Mar 28, 2025

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AUSTIN, TX — Tesla has rolled out its latest innovation: a high-voltage shock system designed to zap any liberal caught keying one of their vehicles.

CEO Elon Musk announced the feature claiming it’s “the ultimate deterrent for those who can’t handle the fact that they can’t commit fraud anymore.”

The system uses advanced AI to detect political leanings via subtle cues like hemp tote bags, men wearing pajamas, NPR bumper stickers, or mid-keying rants about Elon being a Nazi. Once identified, the car delivers a high 50,000-volt jolt.

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