TED CRUZ: 10 Reasons To Avoid Visiting New Zealand
SPONSORED BY ADNAN BELUSHI PODCAST
HOUSTON, TX — Senator Ted Cruz took time off from Trump’s nominee confirmation hearings to chat with The Chimp Chronicles about reasons Americans should avoid visiting New Zealand.
We bring you this exclusive sit down with Ted Cruz. So if you’re thinking of visiting New Zealand, this is important reading. Let’s get into it;
Jew Hunters: “There is literally a hotline operating in New Zealand as we speak by New zealanders to hunt down Jews!”
Terrible BBQ: “If you’re headed to New Zealand for the bbq culture. Don’t. Visit Texas instead.”
Recreational cannabis is illegal: “You’d think that a place like New Zealand, known for its laid back culture, everyone will be smoking weed and chilling out, not hunting Jews.”
PEDO PEDO: “They are apparently everywhere. Including within political parties. Watch out for the Presidents. ACT (cough cough)”
Bringing back the Holocaust: “We all know that New Zealand is the perfect country to test things out. Now we have John Minto, Candace Owens, and Ministry of Foreign Affairs who funds Hamas, are coming together, to experiment reviving the holocaust as a regular ritual.”
The Mountain is a man: “Careful going up Mt. Egmont. You might get molested. By the mountain. Since it is a man now!”
Travelling with children: “Child abuse is business-as-usual. Especially from the government.”
Shoplifters everywhere: “There are shoplifters everywhere. Watch out for Golriz Ghahraman if you’re at Pak’n Save”
Mexican standoffs: “If you’re out on a stroll, expect a Mexican standoff from the indigenous people because you’re walking on stolen land.
You might get eaten: “They love to eat other people. It is a ritual. The missionaries managed to stop cannibalism 200 years ago, but it has come back. I guess they are improving their bbq skills.”
There you have it. New Zealand is a great place to avoid visiting if you’re thinking of visiting New Zealand as your next travel destination.
Thank you Senator Cruz for your time!