Syrians Say New Terrorist Leader Is Better Than Previous Terrorist Leader

SYRIA — Syrians have reportedly thrown their support behind a new Al-Qaeda leader, whom they claim is a vast improvement over the previous one, Bashar Assad. This development has left Western media scrambling to reframe their narratives, with headlines like "New Al-Qaeda Leader: A Breath of Fresh Air in War-Torn Syria" popping up across major news outlets.

The new leader, who goes by the catchy pseudonym "Abu Fresh", has been described by some Syrians as "the best thing since sliced bread, or at least since the last leader of syria."