NEW YORK, NY – Syrian President Ahmed Al-Sharaa, a former Al Qaeda operative, was met with roaring applause at the United Nations General Assembly, after declaring the successful ethnic cleansing of Christians, Druze, Alawites, and Kurds in Syria.
Al-Sharaa, who ascended to power following the ousting of Bashar al-Assad, addressed the assembly as the representative of Syria, for the first time in nearly six decades.
“I know that you have not heard from Syria for decades, but I’m here to update you that we have been triumph in our mission to continue the ethnic cleansing in ways that is acceptable to the international community,” said President Al-Sharaa. “We have mostly used the acceptable method of beheading, after banning the lethal use of gassing minorities.”
Bashar al-Assad lost his allies after aggressively pushing ethnic cleansing in ways that were deemed not appropriate, whereas Al-Sharaa has been smart about cleansing minority ethnic groups quietly, except for the occasional videos leaked on TikTok.
At publishing time, UN members have approved the cleansing of Jews as the next phase of ethnic cleansing in Syria.