Study Finds Te Matatini Competition Just For Deciding Who Is Good Or Bad At Screaming

TARANAKI — A study released this week has confirmed that Te Matatini, New Zealand’s premier kapa haka competition, is to determine who can scream better.

The research, conducted by the prestigious Institute of Obvious Observations (IOO), analysed footage from the last decade of Te Matatini performances.

Lead researcher Dr. Tama Shoutalot explained, “We noticed a pattern. The groups with the most lung-busting screams seemed to take home the top prizes.”