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Schwab Declares Space War On Musk, Calling On His Lizard People On Jupiter's Moon To Invade Mars!
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Schwab Declares Space War On Musk, Calling On His Lizard People On Jupiter's Moon To Invade Mars!

Mar 20, 2025
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The Chimp Chronicles
The Chimp Chronicles
Schwab Declares Space War On Musk, Calling On His Lizard People On Jupiter's Moon To Invade Mars!
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GENEVA, CH – World Economic Forum overlord Klaus Schwab has officially declared an interplanetary war on Elon Musk, after a avage funding cut from DOGE.

“We vill not stand for zis insolence,” Schwab declared from his Davos throne, stroking a hairless cat that may or may not be a cyborg. “Elon thinks he can defund our glorious Earth empire and colonize Mars vith his little rocket toys? Nein! I am calling on my loyal lizard people on Jupiter’s moon to invade zat red dustball and teach him a lesson in globalist supremacy!”

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