Sadiq Khan Knighted For Transforming City To 'Londonistan' Where Men Can Marry Minors Like Prophet Muhammad

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LONDONISTAN — Londonistan Mayor Sadiq Khan has been knighted for transforming a western city into a caliphate. By officially renaming London to "Londonistan," Khan has put the city on the islamic map with praise from Prophet Muhammad.

“Well done my boy,” said Prophet Muhammad. “Now men can marry 9-year old girls.”

King Charles said that under Khan's leadership, the city has undergone a “great replacement" of its white population, mandating conversion to Islam, stripping women of their rights, and legalizing marriages to 9-year-olds.

Critics claim that London has been rebranded not just in name but in essence, with new "laws". This has captured the imagination of those who love cultural shifts, like the Crown.

New merchandise celebrating "Londonistan," with items like "Welcome to Caliphate City" t-shirts and "Sharia Law Approved" stickers are going viral on Amazon. The residents of Londonistan has expressed excitement for seeing the city transform. “We love everything about living under Sharia Law, who needs Free Speech when you can be sober and save up on bacon and beer since it ‘haram’ to eat,” said John Blackhead, a 5th generation Londoner.

At publishing time, Said Khan has issued a new law where shoplifting crime will be punished with chopping off an arm.