Rumours That The Taliban Has Taken Over Australia Are Unfounded
MightyABC on YouTube
CANBERRA, AUS — Senior government sources moved quickly Monday to dismiss wild conspiracy theories that the Taliban has seized control of Australia, insisting the nation remains a secular liberal democracy.
Parliament session commenced with a woman in a full burqa, claiming that she was the new leader of Australia.
“There is absolutely nothing to see here, insha’Allah,” Prime Minister Anthony Albanese told reporters. “Australia remains a free, secular, kangaroo-loving nation. The Taliban has not advanced as far as Canberra. Everything is perfectly normal.”
Senate President Sue Lines confirmed that the sudden replacement of the Aboriginal flag with a black Taliban banner above the chamber was routine maintenance, and that the new loudspeakers blaring the adhan across Parliament House five times a day are actually a multicultural sound installation celebrating diversity.
At press time, Senator Hanson was reportedly threatening to deport herself unless she can rule Australia.