Projected Death Toll From LA Fire Drops Rapidly After Elon Musk Sends Cybertruck Fleet With Starlink

LOS ANGELES, CA - With the devastating wildfires sweeping through, Los Angeles has seen an unprecedented drop in their projected death toll because Elon Musk redirected Cybertrucks ready for customer delivery, towards burning neighbourhoods to help save lives.

Eyewitnesses report seeing the angular, stainless steel Cybertruck barreling through the flames, its tires seemingly immune to the scorching heat. "It was like something out of a sci-fi movie," said one evacuee, who was reportedly saved by the vehicle's autonomous self driving technology, which somehow knew to dodge the fire tornadoes. The truck was not only delivering people to safety but also deploying Starlink satellites for real-time fire mapping, allowing rescue operations to be more precise than ever before.

"We were fighting blind until those satellites went up," confessed one male firefighter. "Now, we can see exactly where the fire is moving, and it’s like we’ve got the Eye of Sauron, but for good."

One critic was not happy, “I just got an email saying I won’t be getting my Cybertruck this week. It is now out there saving lives. Another reason to hate on Elon.”

At publishing, more men are projected to live thanks to the Cybertruck after Fire Department’s Diversity Manager said they will only be saving queer people and women.