Pete Hegseth Confirmed As Secretary Of Defense After Enduring Roomful Of Screaming Women

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Trump’s cabinet nominee, Pete Hegseth, was confirmed as the next Secretary of Defense, after enduring a roomful of screaming women demanding why he is so focused on the military to be only doing “military stuff”

“Mr. Hegseth, why are you ignoring all the distractions that is today expected the Pentagon to be doing, like flying those drones in New Jersey, mothers fighting wars while breastfeeding their babies in Syria, and recruiting child groomers. All of this is important too. It is part your responsibility towards social engineering.”

This has left even Trump shocked, thinking he wouldn’t be confirmed, and might snap at these women, like he’s accused of doing in his past. “WOW.. PETE IS A SAINT. WE ALL NEED HIS PATIENCE WHEN DEALING WITH SUCH WOMEN,” posted Trump on Truth Social. “I COMMEND HIS DETERMINATION AND COURAGE FOR RESTORING OUR MILITARY.”

Hegseth was pleased to be confirmed. "Now let the Christian Crusade begin," he said. "Hamas, Greenland, Canada, UK.. we are coming for you."

At publishing time, reports surfaced that Pete Hegseth will be prosecuting all female democrats in the congress for screaming at him.