Pam Bondi Confirms Files Proving Moon Landing Was Faked Are On Her Desk And Waiting To Be Reviewed
Headlines that should be satire: Not The Chimp
WASHINGTON, D.C. — U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi has confirmed that files proving that the moon landing was faked are sitting on her desk, awaiting review.
“The moon landing was definitely faked. I’m confident because there is a truck-load of evidence sitting on my desk right now.”
A DOJ spokesperson later clarified, “The Attorney General is methodical and will review the files immediately. But someone had spilled ketchup sauce on a few documents, and we need to clean that up first.”
When pressed on what it would mean if the files confirm the moon landing was staged, Bondi said, “we might have to give Neil Armstrong an Oscar for best actor in a leading role. And Buzz would receive an Oscar for best actor in a supporting role.”
At publishing time, Pam Bondi also revealed that Elon Musk is building a film studio where he will fake going to Mars.
Not Satire