Oprah Flees Trump's America For New Zealand

Oprah Winfrey has reportedly fled the United States for New Zealand, claiming the re-election of Donald Trump has made America unbearably orange.

“What can I say, orange is the new black,” said Oprah. “The whole country feels like it’s been dipped in Cheetos. I’m off to my bunker in Queenstown for the next 4 years.”

Insiders report that Oprah’s decision comes after she saw a Trump banning the burning of the American flag.

Winfrey’s team insists the relocation is temporary, describing it as a self-care sabbatical to realign her chakras in a country full of kindness.

At publishing time, Oprah was reportedly spotted in a Wellington café, tearfully gifting every patron a free Subaru Outback.