WELLINGTON, NZ — The Coalition Government has lifted the 2018 ban on offshore oil and gas exploration while simultaneously outlawing all renewable energy projects, effective immediately.
Resources Minister Shane Jones unveiled the legislation this morning in Parliament.
“Renewables are a costly distraction, and they don’t generate enough energy” Jones said. “We need energy that works 24/7, not when the sun shines or the wind blows. Oil and gas is the future. Why should we import oil and gas from overseas, when we can get our own?”
Prime Minister Luxon also announced terminating New Zealand’s $24 billion. investment in the Paris climate agreement. “What I wanna say to you is,” said Luxon, “I might not a job tomorrow, so I better stop fucking around, and adopt a bit of common sense.”
Education Minister Erica Stanford announced education programmes to prepare children for a career in oil and gas.
At publishing time, the government has launched a public media campaign titled, Drill Baby Drill.