New Zealand Says We Can Help End The Russia-Ukraine War By Talking With Only One Side

WELLINGTON, NZ — New Zealand has slapped Russia with yet another round of sanctions, announced conveniently on the third anniversary of the Russia-Ukraine war, February 24, 2025.

Foreign Minister Winston Peters puffed out his chest, declaring these measures would target Russia’s military-industrial complex and energy sector, ensuring Putin feels the sting of losing access to… checks notes… $0 million worth of trade.

Sources close to the Kremlin report that Putin, wiping tears of laughter, was heard muttering, “Sanctions? From New Zealand? Who are they again?”

JD Vance, U.S. Vice President also laughed off the sanctions stating,