New Owner Replaces NZME Board With 4 Random Guys Named Dave Who Wear Tinfoil Hats
AUCKLAND, NZ — New owner James Grenon has fired the entire board of NZME, replacing them with 4 random guys named Dave who have managed to dodge woke mind viruses by wearing tinfoil hats.
Known for fighting vaccine nanobots and 5G brainwashing, Grenon sees each Dave as key to purging woke ideologies from NZME.
Each Dave brings a unique hat to the table. Dave #1’s dented foil dome blocks satellite mind control, while Dave #2’s pointy hat fuels his pitch to rename the NZ Herald as the Foil Free Press. Dave #3’s hat bans cellphones from NZME to dodge invisible waves. And Dave #4’s foil repels fake news vibes.
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