Neighbours Call Noise Control After Dire Wolves Howl All Night

Austin, Texas residents woke up to dire wolf howls last night and called noise control. The extinct beasts were brought back by Ben Lamm who revived them using ancient DNA.

“It sounded like my dog ate a foghorn,” said neighbour Jane Hicks. Another resident, Tom Ruiz, said, “I moved here for good night sleeps, not werewolf karaoke.”

The wolves, named Romulus and Remus, escaped their secret preserve for a stroll around Austin. Noise control showed up but couldn’t hush the howls rattling windows.

Lamm shrugged it off. “They’re just saying hi to the future,” he told officers. Locals didn’t buy it. “Future’s loud—send it back to extinction,” snapped Hicks.

At publishing time, Austin was drafting a dire wolf noise law. “Dire Wolves are not allowed to howl between 10pm and 6am.”