Mexico Retaliates Against New Tariffs By Sending Tequila So Weak It’s Just LaCroix

MEXICO – Mexico has fired back at President Trump’s tariff deadline by sending tequila so weak it’s indistinguishable from a can of lime LaCroix.

Trump’s announcement last week of a 25% tariff on Mexican goods sparked outrage south of the border, prompting officials to ditch diplomacy for something far more sinister.

“If he wants to play hardball, we’ll destroy their tequila hangover, which they love!” said Mexican Trade Minister Juanita Espinosa, sipping what appeared to be a fizzy margarita during a press conference. “Say adiós to your precious tequila nights, gringos.”