Man Confused For Being Arrested After Killing Zionists

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A man was shocked after he was arrested outside the Capital Jewish Museum for murdering two zionists in the Capital. Chicago resident Elias Rodriguez thought he won the lottery after killing a couple of zionists, but quickly found himself in handcuffs.

“Let me go, let me go, this is crazy, why are you arresting me? FREE PALESTINE” he said, explaining why he just murdered two Israeli embassy staff members. “I have been to many ‘Free Palestine’ protests, and I thought it was legal, and encouraged, to kill Jews. I should be getting an award for this.”

Organisers of “Free Palestine” movement also expressed confusion. “Why is it so hard for people to understand our movement? We have been very clear from the start, that “Free Palestine,” or “From The River To The Sea,” means to kill all the Zionists,” said congresswoman Ilhan Omar.

At publishing time, an extremist MAGA judge has denied Rodriguez bail, while others have called for him to receive the Nobel Peace prize.