WELLINGTON, NZ — Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has ditched his tie for a Hamas headband, vowing to punish New Zealanders for their brutal criticism in the recent polls.
Sources say Luxon stormed into the Beehive, headband blazing, yelling, “How dare they? Line them up for public execution.”
Insiders claim he’s been watching Hamas propaganda for tips to turn around public support.
Luxon doubled down at a presser, adjusting his headband and snarling, “Low polls? I’ll give them something to fear!”
At publishing time, Luxon was seen practicing his terrorising squint in a mirror.