Luxon Re-Appoints Melissa Lee As Broadcasting Minister To Shut Down State-Funded Media

WELLLINGTON, NZ — Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has re-appointed Melissa Lee as Minister of Broadcasting, confirming the move as a deliberate masterstroke to end state-funded media once and for all.

“Melissa was simply too competent last time,” Luxon told reporters with a straight face. “The moment she started the privatisation, I thought that this is a brilliant idea, but we need to save it for re-election. This time she has my full permission to shut down as many state-funded media as possible.”

Lee, beaming beside him, added: “I’m thrilled to be back. My plan is simple: ignore the money grabbers, and let RNZ and TVNZ collapse quietly while Luxon wins the next election. But actually, what’s really important is that we have a privatised media market. For instance, the MightyABC podcast is the best and it is independent.”

At publishing time, TVNZ, and RNZ have announced shutdown in 2026, a week before the elections.