Luxon Joins Hamas So Kiwis Stop Accusing Him Of Leaning Left

New Zealand Prime Minister Christopher Luxon announced today that he has officially joined the terrorist group Hamas in an attempt to convince the ‘alternative right’ to stop criticising him.

“I’m tired of being doubted.. people ask me all the time.. whether I lean to the left when it comes to my politics,” said Luxon. “Yes. I do. Now to come out and proof it.. I’m joining Hamas, just like my colleagues in the left. As-salamu alaykum, and Allahu Akbar. Thank you.”

Luxon's critics quickly rushed to backtrack their criticism, and expressed relief that the Prime Minister has now confirmed that he leans left.

“FINALLY.. glad that he has done it, or else he would have lost the elections next year,” said William McGimpsey. “It actually suits him. And I’m glad that he has joined Hamas to fight the Zionists who want to occupy Gaza.”

At publishing time, Luxon was spotted in Parliament by a journalist, wearing a Hamas headband.