Luigi's Lawyer Says His Rights Were Violated In Prison By A Likely Suspect

NEW YORK, NY — Luigi Mangione’s lawyer, Toadsworth Fungus, is alleging that Mangione’s rights were violated in prison, and the prime suspect is Sean “P. Diddy” Combs.

According to Fungus, the rapper targeted Mangione for his undeniable cuteness. “My client’s a good-looking guy with a heart of a vigilante,” Fungus told reporters, “and apparently that’s like catnip to P. Diddy, and he’s got a thing for pretty boys.”