Karine Jean-Pierre Insists Biden Does Not Have Cancer

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After the unsurprising announcement of more health issues for Joe Biden, former White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, notorious for downplaying Biden’s full medical chart, doubled down that the former President is cancer-free.

Jean-Pierre appeared on The View to assure American people that the now-cancerous President in fact all clear from any health issues, and these rerports are simply fake news.

“He is sharp and ready to run in 2028,” she told Whoopi. “There are a lot of misinformed reports about this diagnoses, and that we have been hiding many of his health issues, but it is simply not true. He never had cancer while in office, and he doesn’t have it now. I can be sure of it because I still receive a copy of his daily health reports.”

The timing of Biden’s cancer has raised a few eyebrows, with many confident that a stage 4 cancer means it was diagnosed while in office, and it had a role to play in his decline, which was exposed during the infamous presidential debate.

At publishing time, Biden died a few years ago and this is just a clone, but Karine Jean-Pierre insists that this is the real deal, sharp and ready to go, your 2028 President, Joe Biden.