The Chimp Chronicles

The Chimp Chronicles

JD Vance Leaks War Texts On Purpose To Shame Europe’s Freeloading Ways

Mar 24, 2025
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WASHINGTON, D.C. —Vice President JD Vance has admitted to intentionally leaking his top-secret war plans to a journalist, all to make sure Europe knows just how much he can’t stand their freeloading ways.

The texts, which were “accidentally” sent to The Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg, revealed Vance’s unfiltered thoughts about bailing out Europe yet again by securing the Red Sea shipping lanes from Houthi attacks.

“I just hate bailing Europe out again,” Vance wrote in the group chat, which also included Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, who chimed in with a hearty “PATHETIC” about Europe’s reliance on American muscle.

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