MIDDLE EAST — Jubilation erupted across the Middle East as Israel and Palestine triumphantly resumed their century-old tradition of conflict, narrowly escaping the terrifying prospect of peace.
The celebration comes on the heels of a U.S. government shutdown that derailed President Donald Trump’s peace deal, which had locals on edge fearing an outbreak of handshakes and mutual understanding.
“We dodged a bullet,” said one relieved Palestinian mother, while taking her children to school to learn the teachings of Hitler.
Trump’s Gaza peace deal meant a huge step forward for liberalism and prosperity in the Middle East, and Israel no longer indulging in breaking human rights and illegal occupation of land.
“We were so close to having to talk to each other, like good neighbours,” said Bezalel Smotrich, Finance Minister of Israel, “Can you imagine me shaking hands and signing a trade deal with Palestine’s Finance Minister?”
Citizens around Iran also took to the streets to celebrate, with new hope, for a radical islamic future for the Middle East. “DEATH TO AMERICA,” chanted large crowds on the streets of Tehran.
At publishing time, Israel has cut-off all supply of aid into Gaza, IDF has taken more control of Gaza, and ariel bombs are flattening rest of the Gaza strip, as Qatar sends another $5 billion to Hamas for staging another October 7th.