India New Zealand Trade Deal Eliminates All Tariffs On 'Uber Driver' Exports Into New Zealand
WELLINGTON, NZ — New Zealand has agreed to eliminate all tariffs on Indian exports, with sources close to the negotiations confirming that the deal specifically classifies ‘Uber drivers’ as a zero-duty export commodity from India.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon hailed the pact as a big win for New Zealand, “we’re opening our markets wide to Indian goods—and people—who will drive our economy forward, literally.”
Indian Commerce Minister Piyush Goyal was equally enthusiastic, stating, “This is a historic deal where Indian Uber drivers gets unrestricted access to New Zealand’s roads, while bravely protecting our sacred dairy sector from inferior foreign milk.”
New Zealand First leader Winston Peters blasted the agreement as “neither free nor fair,” warning that eased visa rules and student work rights would flood the country with Indians. “We’re trading our dairy dreams for an unlimited supply of five-star-rated drivers,” Peters fumed.
Local Auckland residents expressed mixed reactions amid rising tensions from this year’s ‘Too Many Indians’ protests.
At publishing time, sources confirmed that Auckland traffic had already reached Mumbai levels, with Luxon scrambling to import more sheep to maintain national identity.