Illegal Immigrant Flees To Mexico After Busted Selling Expired Guacamole

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WELLINGTON, NZ — Illegal immigrant Ricardo Menéndez March has fled New Zealand after being busted for selling expired guacamole behind Parliament building.

It is understood, according to his close friends, including well-known shoplifter Golriz Ghahraman, he has fled to Mexico in a dinghy.

“I busted him selling Pams Guacamole behind Parliament building. You can’t come here to take refuge and then bring your native ideas. Even worse, expired ideas,” said Winston Peters.

Minister of Defence, Judith Collins, has confirmed that she has deployed her DEI lesbian crew in dinghies with autopilot, to track Ricardo down in the South Pacific.

At publishing time, the Prime Minister, Christopher Luxon, will not attend Parliament this week after falling sick from a likely case of eating expired guacamole.