Golriz Hires Pink Panther To Help Her Shoplift Again
Created by Funny Machines
NZ — Convicted shoplifter Golriz Ghahraman has reportedly enlisted the services of Pink Panther to assist in her shoplifting escapades, following the government's drastic new law imposing the death penalty for retail theft.
The cartoonish feline, known for his stealthy moves and jazzy theme tune, was spotted skulking around high-end boutiques in Auckland. Sources close to the former politician claim she sought the Panther’s expertise after realising her previous methods—stuffing designer handbags into reusable tote bags—were no match for New Zealand’s newly militarised anti-shoplifting task force.
Golriz, undeterred by the threat of guillotines in store parking lots, reportedly contacted the Pink Panther via a shady Telegram channel, offering him a cut. “She said it was either him or Catwoman, but the Panther’s rates were more reasonable,” an anonymous source revealed.
The Pink Panther, despite his impeccable track record in animated heists, faces challenges adapting to New Zealand’s retail landscape. Security cameras captured him fumbling with a self-checkout machine, unable to scan a stolen scarf while his iconic theme music blared, alerting nearby staff.
At publishing time, the New Zealand government has hired Inspector Clouseau, the bumbling detective from the Pink Panther series, to lead the charge against shoplifters.