Gavin Newsom's Progressive Bible Claims That Eve Was Trans

California Governor Gavin Newsom’s bible sold out within minutes unveiled shocking new details about Christianity.

The limited-edition bible reveals that Eve, the mother of humanity, was actually a trans woman—a revelation that have left biblical scholars worldwide speechless.

“Can I enjoy my Sunday watching baseball?” Said Pope Leo XIV. “What is this nonsense?”

Sporting his signature "NEWSOM WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!" cap, Newsom said. "Turns out the Garden of Eden was a lot more inclusive than we thought. Eve’s transition was the original act of courage, and I’m proud to bring this truth to light.”

The revised text includes a newly discovered footnote in Genesis claiming Eve was assigned male at birth but blossomed into her true self with divine gender-affirming care.

At publishing time, Newsom’s Bible also claims that Adam was gay.