Gavin Newsom Launches New Podcast Sponsored By Brylcreem About How He Is Destroying California

SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom has unveiled his latest venture, a slickly produced podcast about how he is destroying california. The weekly show, which launched this Tuesday, promises listeners an insider’s look at the creative chaos Newsom has unleashed on California, narrated in his signature polished yet vaguely condescending tone.

“I’ve always been an asshole, a bit narcissistic, and I’m obsessed with brylcreem, and occasionally, I enjoy a bump of cocaine, and I gotta say, you have to watchout for that fentanyl-laced coke, it will kill ya,” Newsom said in the trailer episode.

“People kept asking me, ‘Gav, how do you do it? How do you take a state with beaches, tech giants, and Hollywood, and turn it into a dystopian hellscape?’ Well, now I’m pulling back the curtain—part memoir, part masterclass. Brought to you by Brylcreem. Welcome to the SHOW”