Failed Comedian Becomes Supermarket Employee Chasing Shoplifters With A Mic

NZ — Having failed in his stand-up comedy career, with a all-time high record of never making an audience laugh trying to force his jokes through, local man Guy Williams has quit to become a supermarket employee.

"I kept bombing at the clubs, so I went on the road to try and poke fun at politicians,, and then David Seymour smacked me around hard to be fair, and that pretty much ended it.” said Williams, who is now a supermarket employee. "I’m known for chasing people with a mic for no reason. So I figured I can chase shoplifters out of shops with my low-standard jokes."