EXCLUSIVE: The Chimp Chronicles Has Obtained The Epstein List
WASHINGTON, D.C. — We bring you a worldwide exclusive: just hours after new FBI Director Kash Patel was sworn in, The Chimp Chronicles obtained the Jeffrey Epstein client list. Still classified, the list includes highly recognizable names from the worlds of politics, business, and entertainment who visited the infamous island of the disgraced billionaire.
“I have decided to give the list to The Chimp Chronicles to publish it,” said FBI Director, “They are best placed to released the top 10 names,”
Buckle up, here we GO;
Prince Andrew: what more needs to be said?
Bill Clinton: from blowjobs from White House intern to Epstein Island
Bill Gates: No, he wasn’t on Epstein Island to deliver polio vaccines
Harvey Weinstein: dirty pig
Kevin Spacey: We thought he was into boys?
Woody Allen: WOODY?!!
Noam Chomsky: I guess he’s old school
Reid Hoffman: Now we know why he donated millions to Kamala
Leslie Wexner: When you own Victoria’s Secret, why would you go on Epstein Island?
President Trump: Even if Kash Patel removes his name from the list, just coz Trump’s his boss, the New York Times will include it anyway
At publishing time, Bill Cosby is disappointed for not being included in the list.