Elon Musk Gutted Not Buying Canada And Letting It Free Like That Bird He Rescued

WASHINGTON, DC — Billionaire Elon Musk is reportedly gutted after missing the opportunity to buy Canada, a move he claims would have allowed him to "set it free" like the bird he famously rescued.

Sources close to the tech billionaire say Musk had been eyeing the entire nation as a potential acquisition, but was too busy working at DOGE.

“I did offer Pierre to get him elected,” said Elon, “But he had to be on our side, and join MAGA, but, as we all now know, he showed his true colours, and spooked the Canadian voters. I also offered him to sell Canada to me for $1 after I make him Prime Minister.”

At publishing time, Elon has made an offer to buy Australia before the general elections, citing concerns that the woke government to go after him harder if they get re-elected!