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WASHINGTON, DC — Elon Musk announced yesterday that Tesla’s Optimus robot will be the America Party’s inaugural candidates for the 2028 presidential election.
“Optimus is programmed for liberty, efficiency, and not screwing things up like humans do. They’re basically programmed with the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, and he hates spending money.”
The Optimus robot, originally designed for tasks like folding laundry and fetching coffee, have been upgraded with what Musk calls “PatriotOS,” a proprietary software that enables them to quote the Constitution, manage the world, and play politics.
Campaign manager, GROK, stated, “Optimus doesn’t need 42 naps per day, can’t take bribes, and can process 10,000 decisions in a nanosecond. He will be the greatest president ever. Get him on Mount Rushmore ASAP.”
At publishing time, the Optimus campaign was already facing its first scandal for saying Trump is in the Epstein Client List.
Not Satire