AUCKLAND, NZ — New Zealanders are bracing for a festive season of divorces following IKEA’s announcement of its grand opening in Auckland this December.
The Swedish furniture giant’s arrival is expected to unleash a wave of relationship-ending arguments over furniture assembly, just in time for Christmas.
“We’ve seen it before in other countries,” said Dr. Helen Wright, a relationship therapist in Auckland. “Couples walk into IKEA full of hope, dreaming of a new bookshelf they can assemble together. Next thing they are in my office with deep-seated resentment over who’s better at reading assembly instructions.”
Retail analysts suggest the timing couldn’t be worse. “Christmas is already a pressure cooker for relationships,” said a spokesperson from Retail NZ. “Add in the stress of navigating IKEA aisles, impulse-buying, and then arguing over whether assembly instructions, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.”
At publishing time, IKEA is considering placing a divorce lawyer at the shopping exit, where they usually sell Swedish meatballs.